Day 2

[d_c]

The briefing had gone, well about as well as could be expected all things considered. Palmer was clearly competent and knew her job, but she didn't trust D.C>, which was probably for the best. The Counselor had always been very attentive to reports and connections made with others, the whole point of Freelancer was not to be noticed until you were gone. That she'd even stepped out of her bounds to speak with Tom alone had been teetering on breach of orders, but she couldn't have done it any other way. He deserved better than to be lie to, again.

Chyler and Tom had been so young, so full of promise. There had been days when she thought one day they'd have their own command together. Pipe dreams, but she at least had enough heart to dream them back then. Before everything changed, she didn't dream anymore, sometimes she'd remember, but never really dream.

Four or five days was a lot of time to kill and she couldn't just hole up in her room and wait, some of the Freelancers might, others might start fights, one would surely be training the entire time. But she wasn't like them, she sure as hell wasn't like Texas. Out of her armor she could fairly well blend in, something it would be hard for true Spartans to do. She though could fade into the crowd and get lost, listen to conversations and life and remember what she'd had something like that.

She'd decided to walk the ship, get a feel for Tom's Command, and what a ship she was. Huge really, ten times as long as Mother of Invention at least. She'd read over the specs before ever coming on board but still, caustically seeing it was incredible. By the morning of day two she'd walked far enough to find Memorial Park and had been stunned by how lovely and out of place it was. Suddenly a forest inside all that cold metal. She'd have to revisit it later, but something about it reminded her of other places and other times.

Her journey stopped at the mess hall, she followed the line like everyone else with no word or complaint. She could have chosen the officers mess but that seemed like pushing herself in somewhere she might not be wanted. She got her food and most importantly a large cup of coffee, still with cream and sugar. She'd never gotten used to it black and would only drink it that way if no other option was available.

With tray in hand she found an empty table along the side wall and sat, a data pad laid beside her tray and she began to read as she slowly ate cereal.

Comments

[d_c]

“I’m not in it now, seems fair enough.” She smirked. “And I’m not like your friend Palmer.” Hint of inquiry in her tone, even if she wouldn’t press on that. She knew he was close with her, because she knew the looks he gave her. It was the way they had used to communicate without words.

“You can ask, I can tell off the record generalities. Anything else I can tell you that I can’t answer or I can lie, your choice.” She’d learned how to do that, which would have made Vickers proud.

Chyler nodded to his offer to pour and watched him silently while he did so. “Thank you.” For the drink? Maybe. Or maybe for coming at all and letting her feel like she hadn’t lost the one person in the universe that still mattered.

[infinitycaptain]

He raises an eyebrow at the mention of Sarah and the undertone it held. "Sarah and I are friends, that's all."

He's not bothering with trying to add more distance between them by calling her Palmer. Even if there was something more than friendship on his part, he respects her too much to risk sinking both of their careers. "And I'd rather you be honest with me. Even if it means you don't answer."

He pours and considers what to ask. Nothing about the armor, nothing about her missions...

"You said you aren't like her... what do you mean?"

[d_c]

Sarah and he were friends. Yes she could tell that by the way they interacted. And at least on Palmer's side there was more than simply co-worker closeness she thought.

But that wasn't her business was it? She's been gone, he had to have a life. She would have wanted him to. So why did it feel like something in her burned a little at the idea?

"Then anything you ask that I can answer, I'll answer honestly. And anything else I just won't answer." So like a drinking game then, this could lead to trouble. She tipped back her glass and drained it, the burn felt good now, nice and warm on the way down. Her shoulders lost some of their ache too. This was what people bought alcohol for.

"I'm not a Spartan. Not designed for what they are. I'm," What to call herself? "An inferior model in some respects. They said I had good form to start with, but I was too old for augmentation. So they just built on what I had. Made me as good as I could be." Vague words but she was clearly in peak condition. Strong arms, well muscled, long and lean legs that showed her tone when she moved like she did now to refill her glass.

[infinitycaptain]

He sips and thinks and tries not to focus on watching how she moves. So, they did something to her, just nothing as drastic as the Spartans went through.

"Pretty sure, that's not a standard issue UNSC outfit. You Freelancers allowed to just wear whatever?"

He's mostly teasing her... but he might find out a little more about where this group of hers fits in the hierarchy. Or she got it from a guy she knows. Which, you know, great. She deserves someone in her life.

[d_c]

If they hadn't she wouldn't have survived, probably. If she had she wouldn't have been able to fight, or have the use of most of her abdominal organs.

"No, it's not." She picked at one of the buttons and turned it between her fingertips. "It belonged to someone else in the program. We'd started to get to know each other." She shrugged and took a gulp from her glass before setting it down, she had to slow down with that on an empty stomach.

"We were going to go out after his next mission, had it all planned." She looked over his shoulder at the wall. "He didn't make it back and I was assigned to clear out his things. Everything else went into the incinerator. Because we don't have family, we don't leave anything behind. It didn't seem right. No one should be forgotten like that. So I kept this." She chewed on her thumbnail. "He deserved better than a woman who never even kissed him to remember him. But that's what being a ghost means." That was way more than she should have been sharing, but she was on her way to being drunk, emotionally exhausted, tired and feeling like it didn't matter at the moment.

[infinitycaptain]

The problem with having a Spartan for a drinking partner is that Spartans can't get drunk. So you stop worrying about how much your drinking buddy has and focus on pacing yourself. Not that he's ever been much of a drinker to start with.

"I'm sorry." He looks at his glass and rolls it between his hands, feeling awkwardly self conscious. But he makes himself look at her again. "You both deserve better."

The worst part of his job is having to tell the families that their loved one died under his command. He could leave it for the bureaucracy to handle, like so many others do... but that's hollow. People deserve better than that.

"You deserve a life. And he deserves dignity in death."

He hates these amoral ONI backed programs... anyone that could treat people like things.

[d_c]

"I had a life, a good one. Purpose, friends, a future," including you She didn't say it but it was there in her eyes. "But the Covenant had other plans." Chyler shrugged and stood, hitting that restless stage of intoxication where the mind started to make plans that the body wasn't capable of finishing.

"We don't even know each other's names." She walked to the wall, and paced back. "We have our call sign and that has become our identity. I hadn't heard anyone speak my name since Corbulo. Makes it easier to forget you were ever anything but this."

But hearing her name, and hearing it from him? She felt like it changed something. "Funny thing is they don't care what we do in down time. I always thought that was strange but I guess work hard play hard." And South Dakota was certifiable, that woman was some sort of sadist or idiot or both.

[infinitycaptain]

Tom sets the glass down and stands. She's pacing and that's not a good thing. So he steps over to her and puts a hand on her arm. Gently, just to let her know he's here for her.

"I don't care what they call you." His eyes meet hers, searching. "You're Chyler Silva. Nothing can change that."

He slowly reaches out to smooth a bit of her hair back. "Not to me."

[d_c]

That touch, that was all it took to break down the walls she'd been holding up in her mind. She froze and looked at him, half afraid of what he might say.

He spoke her name and she eased back out of his touch, but only to face him properly and boldly wrap her arms around him. Both their bodies had changed but eh hug felt comfortable and sure as it did years ago. She felt something inside her crumbling away, an emptiness that had left her cold and hollow, falling away for something warmer, something whole.

She closed her eyes tightly and rested her forehead against his, her nose brushing along his own, her breath playing softly against his lips when she spoke.

"Say it again, my name."

[infinitycaptain]

There's a split second when she first hugs him and his body goes stiff. But it fades and he relaxes in her embrace, placing his own arms around her. He had made a good solid attempt to rationalize away his feelings, to list all the reasons he shouldn't be here like this... and they all sink into the background as they hold each other.

When she rests her forehead against his, he feels the same nervous giddiness as he had that first time. There's a rush to it but it's more than that. Something he's never had in the few, ultimately brief attempts at a relationship he's tried.

His lips brush hers as he speaks, his voice low. "Chyler."

He murmurs her name again as he presses his lips softly to hers.

[d_c]

He knew her, Tom knew she existed and was real and not some ghost of the program. He speaks her name and his lips graze over hers, she has no hesitation to return the kiss he starts. Something that began over twenty years ago finally coming to fruition.

Chyler moved against him, as if unwilling to let the contact go now that she'd had a taste. Her kiss wasn't as soft as his, it was needy, filled with years of empty longing she'd never realized she carried. Now he was there in her arms and she didn't want to miss a second of him.

Her lips parted and her tongue swept across his mouth, bitter bite of gin still clung to them but the drink was not the cause of all this, it might have lubricated their resistance, but what was happening was completely because they both wanted it.

[infinitycaptain]

One hand cups her while the other slides along the small of her back when she returns his kiss like that. While the pain wasn't so immediate, not a day had passed that he didn't miss her. Now... he draws her bottom lip into his mouth, tasting her, meeting her need with his.

He hadn't come here with any intention to be physical, quite the contrary. But now that he'd crossed that line, he did it without reservation. He wants this. He wants her. As much or as little as she likes.

[d_c]

This would have, perhaps should have happened twenty five years ago, but things had gone differently. So rather than kids with too little life experience and too much pressure they were adults who have chosen their paths in life.

This was her choice, he was her first and only choice. Her kiss deepened, her hands sliding down his back to worm under his shirt and feel his skin. To reassure herself that he was real and here with her and this wasn't a dream, it was good enough to be one.

Her hands, rough and strong, slid up his back, mapping out the lines of muscle and places age was softening him. None of it changed how she felt about him, he could be scarred and missing limbs and he'd still be the first man she ever loved. Only man she ever truly loved.

Chyler had to break the kiss to breathe, her lips still pecking at his between ragged draws of air. "Tom, I don't want to mess things up for you." And she groaned even at the idea of him leaving her in that moment. "But I also know what I want."

She pulled back enough to look in his eyes, her own heated and pupils dilated, cheeks flushed. "I want you. I always have."

[infinitycaptain]

He sucks in a breath at her touch. Chyler's touch. A touch he'd wanted and accepted he would never have. One that drives away self consciousness he might otherwise feel over the nearly faded blistering from that last stay in cryo. She'd seen it at it's worst and been concerned without either revulsion or pity.

When she pulls back he's left longing for more. But, her words about not wanting to mess things up for him give him pause. He's not without concerns about things.

"Chyler, we can stop if you want to." He searches her eyes, as full of want as his own. "I don't want you to leave again without you knowing how I feel."

He caresses her face. "I want this... I never stopped loving you."

[d_c]

How could she been repulsed by something she’d always seen as a show of his strength and commitment, willingness to face something others would never know just to stand on the same footing? They were badges of honor and her fingers moved over them and all of his back, reverently.

“I don’t want to stop.” She hurriedly replied and quieted when he continued.

Her eyes slid heavily closed with his caress, soft sound of longing sighed into his palm. “Stay with me tonight, please.” It was more than her not wanting to be alone, it was her wanting to be with him, specifically. It also expressed her intent and desire that this wasn’t just something that would end with a parting in the middle of the night. Waking in his arms sounded like a balm to her soul. “There’s only ever been you, I’ve loved you every day.”

[infinitycaptain]

"I'll stay. I wish I could promise to stay as long as we wanted." He can't promise the whole night. As much as he wishes he could, he doesn't have the luxury of knowing he won't be called on. His duty to Infinity and her crew have to come first. But he doesn't want to just leave her either. He wants to hold her close as they sleep.

"I'm all yours until I'm needed. That I can promise." He only hopes she'll understand and it not feel hurt. He's hurt her enough the past couple of days.

[d_c]

Which meant they had, possibly, limited time. It seemed like a waste if even one second of that was spent not being together. She nodded her understanding, she even smiled. "I always knew you'd be a great leader." How can she be mad about that? He was everything she'd seen in him all those years ago.

"For now you're needed here." By her. Chyler slid her hands down to grip the bottom of his shirt and draw it up. She had no intention of losing any moment of their time when they'd already lost so much.

[infinitycaptain]

He smiles and leans in for a peck before pulling back to help her get his shirt off. Once it's dropped he pulls her close for both another kiss and so he slip a hand between them to work on the bottom buttons of her shirt.

While they're on borrowed time, he doesn't want to rush too much. He wants to savor this time with her. Finally being able to be with her.

[d_c]

Now she knew how Vickers felt when things worked on Tom's schedule, it could be frustrating but in this case in the best possible way.

He pulled her to him and she wound arms around his neck, holding him and returning that kiss. It started slow this time, testing and feeling before even a hint of her tongue swept across his lip. She took her time getting used to him before her lips parted and she opened her kiss to him. The gin was still there, stinging bitterness somehow fitting for how they'd been apart.

She can feel his hand working at her buttons and angles her body to make it easier for him.

[infinitycaptain]

It's so tempting to give in to the urgency the rest of him feels. But they may never have another chance like this and he wants to burn every moment into his memory. The warm softness of her lips, even the gin adding to her taste. Heating up at their new pace.

The unbuttoning stops just shy of her breastbone, in part because he doesn't want to break their kiss and so he can finally touch her. His fingers brush her stomach and the lean muscles he finds there. The hand flattens out and ghosts upward to map out her side and back.

[d_c]

She was toning it down to meet his pace, the measured steps he'd taken giving her a clue of what he was thinking. She'd gotten too used to grabbing things when she could that she'd forgotten there could be time spent to enjoy them.

His fingertips brush along her belly, missing the scar that had nearly ended her life, but there were others. Many many others in bumps and lines and the tiny craters of bullets. Her body was a map of the last two decades of her life, and it had been a hard road.

She knew his scars, knew what happened everytime he went into cryo, she respected them and hoped he wouldn't fell less of her for hers.

[infinitycaptain]

How could he treat her scars any less reverently than she did his? Each one is a testament to her survival. If anything, they make him appreciate being able to have this time with her even more. And he plans on giving each one the attention they deserve.

He starts to up the heat, threading fingers in her hair and kissing his way to her ear. "Chyler..." he pauses to run his tongue along the outer edge of her ear. "I never had the chance to tell you how beautiful you are."

He suckled and nibbled her earlobe before breathing words between kisses just under her ear. "And. You. Are. So. Beautiful."

[d_c]

Her skin felt warm with each new touch of his hands. It was so rare to have any sort of touch that wasn't combat, corrective or medical in her life, that this was a shock to her. His gentleness but insistence was welcome in so many ways.

He ran his tongue along her ear and she gasped audibly and gripped his shoulders tight in fear her legs might give out on her. It wasn't just the contact it was the use of her name, his use of her name and what he meant with it. She knew those words from him were the absolute truth as he saw it.

"Tom, I never really.." How can she even admit it to him? "When I said there hasn't been anyone since you, I meant it." She tried to once, but it hadn't worked well, she hadn't been receptive and he hadn't been... Tom. So she wound up finishing him with her hand and they'd never tried again. And he hadn't even remotely affected her in the way that this already had with Tom.

[infinitycaptain]

Tom stops and pulls back just enough to look her in the eyes. His hands move to hold her more comfortably, ready to support her if needed.

"You've never..." He pauses as he takes in the enormity of her admission. It's a surprise to him but there's no judgment. He nods slowly. "Okay."

His own first experience wasn't that much better. That first shore leave, alcohol and a squad mate who had made no secret of finding him attractive. It had been awkward, brief and when the hangover faded... unsatisfying. He doesn't want that for her.

"We can take things one step at a time." He brushes her hair back, testing if she's ready to continue.

[d_c]

"I tried once," by way of explanation or maybe apology. It had just been awkward and unsatisfying, which perhaps made it all the easier to go without from there forward.

And he was being so sweet, she smiled and half laughed. "I've waited this many years for you Tom, I'm ready." But she knew he would still do everything to make this easy for her, and special. That was too ingrained in who he was to do otherwise.

"Ok, so what's the next step?" Leaving strategy to him since it seemed to be something he excelled at these days.